Monday, November 30, 2009

A Very Sheridan Christmas




Anyone who knows me can tell you what my favorite time of the year is. What time is that, you say? Christmas time, of course! I love everything about Christmas. I love decorating. I love getting presents. I love giving presents. I love how everyone generally seems to be happier around this time of the year. Not only that, but my entire family's (including my fiancee's) birthdays all happen around Christmas, so there is more to celebrate than just Christmas.

I'm a bit of an agnostic, so my feelings about all of the Jesus imagery is a bit iffy, but I find everything else about Christmas so enjoyable that I quickly get past the religiousness of it all.

This brings me to my point. Recently, I've been told and have noticed that all of my creative writings involve extreme amounts of violence and while still having some humorous bits, generally retains quite a bit of darkness. By darkness, I mean the darkness that every person has within them and if and when that darkness manifests itself.

So I thought about, and since I am in such a good Christmassy mood that I've decided to write a screenplay that is somewhat about Christmas and takes place during the holiday season.

The story itself will be about a young man that comes back from college to find that everything in his life has changed and his various efforts to spread Christmas cheer among his fellow men. Of course, I am a big fan of the idea of Santa Claus so I may just have to insert the big man into my story somehow.

In regards to Santa, I've always wondered how people in movies about Santa (like The Santa Clause with Tim Allen and ELF with Will Ferrell) don't realize that Santa exists in that world. Wouldn't they notice random presents that they can't explain having not actually BOUGHT them laying under their tree? Of course, I know most Christmas movies don't really follow any certain kind of logic and weren't not to question them, but I would like to create an explanation for why parents don't realize that some of the presents under the tree are from Santa himself.

Even though I have a lot of work to do during these last 3 weeks of school, I plan on starting this screenplay as soon as possible. Stay tuned for further updates. And for your entertainment, here is a zombie Santa Claus:


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

David Berkowitz: What an unfortunate name

100 QUESTIONS

1. Would I change my name if I shared it with a notorious serial killer?

2. How can Americans be trusted to take only ONE newspaper from a newspaper machine?

3. How can there be such a thing as an "honor system" in a nation mostly void of honorable people?

4. Why can't I finish the novel that I was born to write?

5. Will I ever be able to write prose that flows as steadily as a small stream?

6. Why isn't January 20th here yet?

7. Why do people insist on killing each other over whose religion is right?

8. Do people really think that what is written in the bible is factual information?

9. Why can't I just stop being like I am and ignore other people's faults?

10. Why hasn't Christian Bale won an Oscar yet (or at least been nominated)?

11. Why was Kim Basinger nominated for a Best Supporting Actress award at the Oscars?

12. Why the hell did she actually win the Oscar?

13. When we die, does everything just go black and existence cease?

14. Or is there something more?

15. Why is Michael Vick such a despicable human being?

16. Is there any honest reporting done when it comes to politics?

17. How can anyone hurt a dog?

18. Why do people go over to other, less developed countries and promise them medicine and food, but only stuff Christianity down their throats?

19. Why am I so hostile towards religiong?

20. Are these questions supposed to accomplish something, or are they just supposed to be as random as mine have so far?

21. Where did Dr. Chesebro hear the phrase "diesel dyke"?

Caption Contest

PICTURE 1
Dude jumping into pool in office

CAPTION: Man 1: "What are you doing?" Man 2: "I found Jesus. He's in the deep end."

PICTURE 2

Small referee in boxing ring


CAPTION: Place pretentious caption here

PICTURE 3

Man and woman in bed


CAPTION: Woman: "Come on honey, just for old time's sake." Man: "Sorry honey, I gotta go for a short walk in the desert."

Picture 4

George Bush


CAPTION: Turkey fellates Bush. FOX News takes day off.

Monday, November 16, 2009

All bad and no good TV makes Patrick a dull boy

Who else is sick of really crappy TV shows flooding the airwaves? Can I get a show of hands...?

God knows I am. My fiancee, bless her heart, has the worst taste in TV shows. Her favorite shows include - but are not limited to The Hills, Gossip Girl, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and The Girls Next Door.

All but one of the above are "reality" shows. Most reality shows are utter garbage, and are slowly but surely killing the scripted show. I trust that you noticed the quotations surrounding the word reality. That was no mistake. These shows are hardly based in reality.

Each reality show in the list is loosely based on actual scripts and ideas that the producers created and then are put into a staged, fake reality format. The worst among these shows is The Hills. FIlled with pompous, arrogant, spoiled rich kids that give other pompous, arrogant, spoiled rich kids a bad name - The Hills is a perfect example of what is wrong with TV these days.

Thankfully, it looks like a good majority of the reality show glut is slowly starting to dissolve away. The Hills is bound to end soon, and Jon and Kate Plus 8 only has one more painful left week until it fades away into rerun obscurity.

I hope we get back to well written, well acted, and well directed dramas and comedies soon. Some good examples of these kind of TV shows are LOST, V, Supernatural, Monk, Psych, Stargate Universe and The Office. I'm sick and tired of reality shows getting all the ratings and attention from TV viewers. It is time for good, scripted TV shows to make a comeback.

And we couldn't need them anymore than we do now. Please... save us.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

BRAINS PART III: THE FIRST WEBISODE

BRAINS

By

Patrick T. Sheridan




1 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 1

POV. A hand reaching into a potato chip bag. The hand
brings the chips up towards the CAMERA and crunching can be
heard. The POV shot pans to a television in which THE
VENGEANCE OF SPACE LORD is playing. A pair of legs are
extended out from the camera and are propped up and spread
out on a coffee table.

MEDIUM SHOT. A MAN is sitting on a couch eating a bag of
potato chips and watching THE VENGEANCE OF SPACE LORD. He
is slightly overweight and wearing a pair of gray sweatpants
that are rolled up to the middle of his calf. He is also
wearing a white tee shirt and a pair of black
slippers/sandals.

A CLOSE-UP of him smacking his lips and licking his
fingers. He reaches into the bag again but there are no
more chips. He grumbles angrily and reluctantly gets up
from the couch, shutting the TV off and tossing the
controller down on the floor next to a crumpled up Playboy
magazine.


2 INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT 2

The man shuffles his feet as he enters the kitchen and
begins tearing through the cabinets and drawers but finds no
food worth eating. He sighs heavily and slams a cabinet,
grunting like a caveman. Shaking his head, he looks over to
the refrigerator.

DRAMATIC MUSIC plays as CAMERA ZOOMS in TIGHT on fridge.

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS as CAMERA ZOOMS in dramatically (and
hilariously) again on his eyes as he stares wide-eyed and
intently.

EXTREME CU as he bites his lower lip and salivates, licking
his lips seductively.

PANNING SHOT as he takes a quick step back and stumbles
awkwardly towards the fridge but loses his footing and
falls, sliding hard into the refrigerator door.

CAMERA moves across the room and settles in on his face as
he winces in pain. He attempts to say something but he
grabs his cheek in pain as blood drips out of his mouth.

MAN
Ugh...

CAMERA ZOOMS out slightly as he props himself up against a
cabinet door and reaches into his mouth and rips out a
molar. More blood comes dripping out of his mouth and
stains the white shirt he is wearing.

He slowly gets to his feet and grabs the handle of the
fridge, pulling the door towards him and shining the light
on his face. He is shocked to find the entire refrigerator
completely empty except for a square object wrapped in
aluminum.

POV. CAMERA is looking at sandwich. CAMERA TILTS up and
PANS to the left and right, looking for anyone - or anything
- that might have placed the sandwich in the fridge. He
finds nothing.

MS of the man looking down at the sandwich. He stares at it
suspiciously for a moment before shrugging his
shoulders. He slams the door shut and leaves the kitchen.


3 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 3

The man enters the living room. A FIGURE enters the frame
on the right and quickly exits on the left. LOUD JARRING
MUSIC plays as the figure appears and disappears.

The man - completely unaware of the intruder’s presence -
rubs his cheek in pain as he plops down on the couch and
opens the tin foil to reveal a delicious looking
sandwich. The man sniffs the sandwich cautiously.

CU of the man sticking his tongue out and licking and poking
the sandwich with his tongue. He shrugs his shoulders again
and opens his mouth to bite into the sandwich but he is
still in pain from his tooth being knocked out and recoils
in pain. He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth,
placing the sandwich in between his teeth.

He lets out a guttural growl and his eyes widen as he
finally manages to bit into the sandwich. But he doesn’t
stop there. He takes several more voracious bites as he
devours almost three-fourths of the sandwich in a matter of
seconds.

He tosses the rest of the sandwich on the table and sits
back on the couch. He is barely managing to chew the
sandwich when he begins to choke. He sits up panicked and
looks down down.

CAMERA ZOOMS in quickly into a CU on his face as he looks
down.

POV. CAMERA ZOOMS in quickly into a CU on a large cup of
soda.

He picks up the cup and begins to chug, but his mouth is so
full that most of the soda runs down his bloody chin and
drips onto his bloody shirt.

CU of the man finishing chugging the soda and swallowing
down the last bits of the mystery sandwich. He lets out an
extremely obnoxious burp. After a few moments, he grabs his
stomach and doubles over in pain.

He gets up from the couch and staggers out of the living
room.

CAMERA lingers and ZOOMS in on the remaining one-fourths of
the sandwich resting on the coffee table. EERIE MUSIC
plays.


4 INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT 4

The man stumbles down the hallway and falls into the
wall. He manages to right himself and continues to stagger
until he reaches the--


5 INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT 5

--bedroom. Pushing the door violently into the wall, the
man stumbles to the bed and collapses onto the soft
blankets.

CU on his face as his eyelids flutter violently for a few
moments until they shut.

MS of the man laying in bed. CAMERA is at ceiling height,
looking down on him as he lays in bed, sprawled out. A LOUD
NOISE is heard and a BRIGHT WHITE FLASH is seen as the man
appears to have a brief seizure, flailing his arms and legs
and twisting his neck unnaturally momentarily before coming
to a stop.

Another LOUD NOISE and BRIGHT WHITE FLASH as the man flips
over onto his back and shakes his head violently. White
foam oozes out of his mouth and drips down his cheeks and
chin. He once again, comes to a stop.

Another LOUD NOISE and BRIGHT WHITE FLASH as his body
bounces violently on the bed until he arches his back
awkwardly so his body is shaped like an upside down
"u". His body then goes limp.

One last LOUD NOISE and BRIGHT WHITE FLASH as he opens his
mouth and unleashes a low-pitched demonic scream as the
CAMERA ZOOMS in slowly and ENTERS into his mouth until all
was see is darkness.

CU of a clock on a nightstand next to the bed which reads
11:45 PM.

CU of the man’s leg as it lies on the bed, bent awkwardly.

CU of the clock as it still reads 11:45 PM and a
CROSS-DISSOLVE into another CU of the clock which now reads
3:37 AM.

CU of the man’s open hand and we ZOOM out extremely slowly
until we see that his arm up until his elbow is hanging off
the bed. As if devoid of life.

Another CU of the clock which still reads 3:37 and a
CROSS-DISSOLVE into another CU of the clock which now reads
7:44 AM. It changes to read 7:45 AM and a soft, but steady
BUZZING NOISE is heard.

EXTREME CU of the man’s eye opening. His pupil is now a
strange shade of yellow.

CU of the clock. CAMERA ZOOMS out slowly and stops when a
pale, decrepit-looking hand violently slaps the alarm clock
and grips it. From what we can notice, the hand and arm
look like they should belong to a body that has been rotting
for several weeks.

POV shot from the man as he looks at the clock and picks it
up from the night stand and brings it close to his eyes and
GRUNTS at it strangely.

He sits up in bed and continues to stare at the clock. He
pokes it a few times until he becomes angry and grunts
several more times and smacks and strangles the clock until
the alarm shuts off.

He gets off the bed and almost falls down, but steadies
himself and begins to awkwardly limp and stagger.

MS (shoot this two ways: 1) The MS of him leaving the
bedroom, and 2) The CU of him leaving the room) on the floor
of the man’s leg as he stumbles, mumbles, and groans on his
way to the door. He opens the door and leaves the room.


6 INT. HALLWAY - EARLY MORNING 6

POV of the man stumbling down the dark hallway towards the
bathroom. He raises his arm and extends his index finger as
he lurches forward. Without applying and real pressure, he
slowly pushes open the bathroom door with his hand.


7 INT. BATHROOM - EARLY MORNING 7

POV of his finger poking around on the wall until it flips
on the light switch. CAMERA TILTS up until you can see the
sink.

MS of the man’s reflection. His face is a greenish white
and appears to be rotting. There are dark black circles
around his eyes. He is. . . a ZOMBIE.

A LOUD, LONG HIGH-PITCHED GUITAR SQUEAL as CAMERA slowly and
dramatically ZOOMS in on his reflection until it settles
into a CU of his face. The Zombie cocks his head and looks
quizzically at himself.

ZOMBIE
Brains?



END OF FIRST WEBISODE

Frustration


The above picture says it all.  Several of my fellow TCOM graduate students and I received emails telling us that we can't attend any Digital Corp classes next semester because they are meant for undergrad students and they get first dibs.

This is especially frustrating because I intended on taking 3 of these classes next semester and count them as one of my 670 credits.  Not only that, but I could also use the help in learning several software programs that I am either rusty in, or have no experience in at all.

I wasn't aware that the Digital Corps classes were meant for undergraduates.  I understand the assumption that undergrad students might need them more than a lot of graduate students because of their youth and inexperience, but shouldn't we also assume that a good majority of grad students are in need of them as well?

At least half - maybe even more - of the TCOM grad students come from different backgrounds that didn't necessarily require them to have any knowledge of what the Digital Corps classes offer.  Off the top of my head I could name at least 5 different undergraduate degrees that 5 different students possess: Journalism, Mass Communications, Journalism, Design and Math.

I believe that the Digital Corps should expand their class schedule per semester and allot graduate students the opportunity to attend their classes.  I need a lot of these classes, and I know a lot of my fellow grad students that need them too.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

BRAINS Part II




Alright, so I've decided on a name for my website/production company:

BURIED ALIVE PRODUCTIONS

It took quite a long time for me to choose the name of my production company.  It seemed EVERY name I could think already existed as a web domain.  But thankfully Buried Alive Productions was NOT taken yet and I am also wholly satisfied with the name.

My friend is a very talented graphic design artist and he will be designing the logo for my company. 

The purpose of the production company is to write, produce, direct, edit, and distribute short and full length videos via several different mediums.  I intend on creating webisodes, short films, full length feature films and hopefully a series of comic books as well.

For now the entire production team consists of only myself, but my friends will be helping me as well.  I also intend on enlisting my classmates' help.

If this production company every gains success or some kind of notoriety, I hope to take on other aspiring filmmaker's ideas as well and help them to produce whatever it is they want to create.

As of today, October 28th, 2009, I have two works in progress.  I am in the pre-production stages of developing my short film/webisode BRAINS, and my creative project (a mockumentary) which is due in less than two years is in the pre-pre-pre-pre-production stages as I outline my ideas and gather funding and resources.

Stay tuned for more updates in the immediate future as I am hoping to completely finish BRAINS by December 25th, 2009.  Christmas Day.

Namaste.